Category Archives: Points to Ponder

Be Mindful

Mindfulness:

Thank goodness that at last this common sense approach to daily living is now not only fashionable but is being recognised more and more here in the western world.

I have been in practice for over 40 years and have always encouraged people to try to achieve this mental state knowing of its unlimited benefits, when we seek not only peace of mind but a fulfilling and healthy life.

Once we learn to be ‘mindful’ it becomes our own way of life an essential part of our being and as a consequence we link our mind, body and spirit in one. We become aware of our responses to everything around us.

Over the years when de-briefing professionals after major disasters and other tragic events I have taught them how to practice mindfulness in order to help them continue to live their lives with a new sense of acceptance.

We cannot change any part of the past nor can we be sure of anything in the future. We need to embrace, accept and value every second of the moment in which we live and breathe.

Vera Waters

a smaller plate

I had hoped to be timely in wishing you all the very best for the New Year however there are so many virus on the rampage that this message is somewhat delayed.

Do be assured I wish all of you well for this coming year. Now is the time to make plans. If you feel restricted in doing this and therefore unable to set big goals then set small ones that are achievable.

So often after the over indulgence with which the festive season provides we are tempted to say that we will diet.

Nasty word diet it conjures up a lot of other words that suggest only eating certain very boring meals. Why not substitute the word sense.

Be more sensible about what you eat, a smaller plate is useful too as it give the impression that we are eating a good portion. Another tip is to ensure that when the meal is served on to the plate that some of the plate itself is visible. An optical illusion maybe but it certainly can work if you are determined that it will do so. Eating just a little bit less can be more effective than a strong diet.

Because the brain is so complex it responds to all of our senses so try removing that half full box of chocolates, ‘out of sight’ can mean ‘out of mind.’

So many of you will be feeling less solvent Again mainly due to the heavy spending or simply because out goings may far outweigh incomings in a monetary sense.

Make a list of what you can do to ‘lift’ the January blues, the post Christmas melt down. A free list……… Walks in the country, a short trip to the sea, breathe in the ozone. Settle down to watch that DVD that you always meant to view but never got around to it uninterrupted. Soak in the bath.

Play your favourite music; enjoy talking to your children if you are lucky enough to have them. Look at your nearest and dearest as though you have never seen them before!

Why not make this year the year that you notice what is going on in the world around you. Not the world as seen on T.V. but your world. Ensure that this year you will be an active participating member of that very special personal world. If you live alone take notice of all the people with whom you have contact. Like you they have their own gifts and talents. Some more than others. Happy New Year and may you find peace within your orbit!

Until next time

Take care and keep safe.
Vera Waters.

November update

Hello everyone.

Autumn seems to be hurtling by and before we know where we are it will be Christmas.

Well I have a bit of news.

Very soon we are going to start selling other books on the site as well as those that I write myself.

Many of them will be books that have memories for me and in some cases have been instrumental in changing my life.

I know that sounds a bit dramatic but it is true. Only this morning I set my alarm an hour earlier than usual why? Because I am reading a wonderful book entitled ‘The Yellow Lighted Book Shop. I can so identify with the feelings the author describes, his passion for books and bookshops is akin to my own.

At the moment we have available two copies of my first book ‘Half a Rainbow’ now out of print. Originally published in 1990 and again in 1997 it now ranks as a ‘collectable’ The copies are second hand and I will resign them for resale

They cost £19.00 for anyone who wants all four of my books they are available.

Other books on sale will include Richards Bach’s ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull.’ I bought extra copies years ago and am now putting them up for sale.

One of my presentations that is very popular is ‘Books that I cherish’ During which I bring along the volumes that have been part of my life and talk about how they melted into my very being!

Speaking of talks I am at Alston Hall College Thursday 9th December for a Christmas afternoon with a difference followed by a scrumptious afternoon tea.

Tickets are all inclusive at £28 and we meet in the conservatory at 1 30 p.m. for 2 p.m. It is about laughter and music and Christmas cheer. Ring 01772 784661 to book your place.

I do hope that you will come and spend some time with me and if not that you soon enjoy browsing through the books on sale on the site.

Until we speak or meet again think positive, keep safe and remember that you are a unique human being. There is no one in the world exactly like you!

Vera Waters.

How to put a child onto the wrong life path…

Hello I know that it has been a while but I am here now ……..

We seem to live in a society where common sense is extremely uncommon. It is as though it is not to be encouraged.
As parents we all make mistakes. Often in those early days we vow never to make the mistakes our parents made. Usually we don’t we simply make a whole new set of our own!

Points to ponder.

How to put your child onto the wrong life path

Begin in infancy to give him everything he demands .
In this way he will grow up to think that the world owes him a living.

When he uses bad language laugh at him then he will think that he is funny.

Avoid the use of the word wrong or naughty it may give him a guilt complex.

Pick up everything he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so that he will grow to expect this to happen all his life.

Make excuses for him when he is rude and obnoxious to other people .
Say he is tired and having a bad time although you know that isn’t true.

Let him spend hours on his computer without checking who is contacting him .

Quarrel and row with your partner when he is in the house deluding yourself that he can’t hear you. {Children hear most things even our thoughts.} This will help him to make fractious relationships himself.

Don’t worry when he does not want to find a job in the holidays just make sure he has plenty of spending money.

Whatever you do ensure that he never experiences frustration, meet his every need

Let him eat and drink whenever and whatever he wants. Never say no this could upset him.

When you know he is telling lies, ignore the fact don’t challenge him he could get angry.

If some one complains about his behaviour be sure to disbelieve them. Of course they are prejudiced against your child.

When he tells you of something he is intending to do that would be of benefit to him warn him about everything that could go wrong.

Teach him to have a negative outlook, then he will always expect disappointment.

Do not remind him of good manners you could cause serious damage by hurting his feelings.

Tell him he can come home at any time then he won’t get anxious about a deadline

Whatever you do never suggest he bring his friends home this could put him under pressure.

Oh and last but not least don’t let him know he is loved he might be embarrassed

When you have done all of this do not expect him to respect you because he probably won’t……….. After all you have not respected him.

{The ‘He’ quoted here could of course be a ‘her’}

Thanks for joining me please feel free to comment as hopefully you will.

I wish you well
Keep safe until next time.

Vera waters.

everything changes and everything stays the same

With today being the day that we all get to vote for the political party of our choice we could presume that change is in the air. However as the French would say ‘everything changes, yet everything remains the same’ and so it would seem.

This occurs not only in the complex field of politics but so often in life in general. We see the need to make changes and yet we often leave things as they are and make no change at all.

Of late I have been involved in the ‘bookbite’ project. This work is aimed at helping people who are 60+ to get more out of life, to have confidence and most of all to appreciate how much people in this age group have to offer the world. On retirement our lives need not be over; this experience is simple another door opening. We are joining the ranks of the ‘wise and wonderful.’

At this point I should say why not click on to the link on the home page of this site and find out more about the bookbite magazine which is available in libraries and has proved to be a great success..

As a result of this work I was invited to meet Princess Anne on 11th March at a Royal Reception in Westminster. It was an enjoyable day and I was very impressed with the fact that she knew so much about the feelings and attitudes of the older generation. She will celebrate her sixtieth birthday this year. Gracious and full of empathy she chatted amicably as each person was presented to her. It was a good day, a day to be cherished and remembered.

Whatever age we are we could do a lot worse than to grasp life by the throat and shake it! The moment in which we stand and breathe is the only moment of which we can be sure. The media seems to almost always present us with the worst happenings and the most heinous crimes totally ignoring the fact that there is a great deal of good taking place in the world around us. If it was left to me I would have a happiness channel on the radio so that when we tuned in to that station all we heard was good news. Think how uplifting that would be!

It could be that wherever you are, whatever age you happen to be that a small change in your life at this moment could have a big affect. You might need to make a journey, change a routine, pay some one a compliment, tell a small child that you think he is the greatest or simply think positive even about the weather. Give some one close to you a hug. It would make a change in some ones life….. and yours too…

At long last!

Yes I know it is ages since my last little missive. I have no excuse other than the fact that I hoped that some one would respond so that I would at least know that there was some one out there!

Christmas with all its festivities is now behind us. For many people the season brings with it sadness in one form or another and of course there are some who through no fault of their own spend a lonely Christmas.
For those of us with families around us it is a reminder that children tend to help us to enjoy the season much more, all the expectation and the whoops of joy after Father Christmas has left his presents.

Due to the long lasting bad weather most of us have had to adapt our everyday living in one way or another. There have been so many accidents on the roads, lots of raised voices and shortness of temper frustration, anger a variety of emotions and feelings. However I have noticed a great many women coming to the help and assistance of other drivers. Helping to push cars out of snow and ice. Sadly I did not see many men responding equally well. They were to be observed, sitting in their vehicles using mobile phones. Could this suggest that women tend to be proactive in a crisis? I can hear men out there groaning. Well it is just a thought!

My involvement in the latest ‘booktrust’ initiative has given me a great deal of pleasure. The publication will be available in libraries and other centres in February. My contribution is all about the art of story telling.
We do need to revive this art form. Much as the world of technology has progressed for the good it cannot replace the warmth and the togetherness of story telling.

Recently I spoke to a grandmother who said she wouldn’t dream of asking her grand children if they would like to listen to a story

‘Why ever not? I asked.

‘They are only interested in their computers’ she replied.

If we allow the art of story telling to die we will lose something very precious. It is a way for children to learn by being involved, a way for them to escape into their own imagination. It encourages them to feel close to another human being. To share an experience.
People have told stories since the beginning of time. Our whole lives are made up of, incidents, feelings, happenings and experience. Your life is a unique story as is mine and the life of every other human being.

I am hoping to ‘blog’ more often especially as at this time I am working hard writing my fifth book. This one is entitled ‘Another cup’ well that’s not too surprising is it.

We are taking orders now. Please email to reserve a signed copy.
vera@verawaters.com

Back here soon in the meantime keep safe and well. Remember you are a unique personality

The beginning of July

Recently I spoke at a large conference, lots of people all of whom are involved in the hectic world of software. During the social time I was asked who or what motivated me. Did I always feel positive and that the glass of life is constantly half full? This is a question I have been asked over and over throughout my career. I make a point of hesitating, no use giving an answer quickly, I always need to think. Feeling positive is not easy especially when life is difficult; but then who promised us that life would be easy..no one. 

Positivity  has to become a way of life, deciding not to be a moaner always seeing the half empty glass. That decision is up to you. Realizing that most people have a lot of ‘stuff’ going on in their own lives and that maybe they need us and don’t need to be burdened by our problems

I am motivated by people who put me to shame because despite set backs they fight back. My father became almost totally blind as he got older. He and my mother lived in a bungalow. One day my mother tripped and fell down she wasn’t badly hurt but it set him thinking. ‘Not enough light in that corridor’ he said  ‘I will put windows in the doors.’ It was no use my saying Dad I’ll get you new doors with glass panes, no use at all.

He throughout his life had set his hand to making things particularly in wood. as he pointed out he couldn’t use his lack of sight as an excuse for being less of a craftsman. It took him a month, often I would visit and silently weep as he struggled. I  wanted to dash off to B&Q and buy new doors but this old man had his dignity and his pride.

Eventually the doors were completed and with my Mothers help he rehung them one by one  He could not see the sunshine as it lit up the corridor but he said  ‘it is lighter in here. ‘Always the full glass, always positive. he spoke as though he could still had full sight.’

During my life I have met so many positive people. If you are positive you will know. You will have lots of friends. You will laugh and have the gift of being able to make others smile. You will  not mind being the focus of a joke or prank. You will notice when other people need you to listen….most of all you will be part of this amazing day

Hope to ‘Blog’ again soon until then keep safe and well .

Today is your present

Points to ponder

To blog or not to blog that is the question, at least that is how it is for me.

I have thought about many times but some how it all sounded so very complicated; now however with the help of my wonderful web-mentor here I am. As an author and life coach I see life from all sorts of angles. The aim of everything that I do is to help people feel more positive to look at life differently. Today I made a telephone call to place an order for some books. The man who answered sounded fairly young.

The good thing about our conversation was that he was so helpful within the first couple of minutes he managed to convey to me that my order was important. He wasn’t what he said it was his attitude. I don’t suppose for one minute that he is on commission for the number of books he sells but he should be. I thanked him and told him that he had made my day…why? because he had. he helped me to continue to feel positive. He reminded me that at this time when the members of our government are reminding us that we cannot really trust them. When the news bulletins are full of gloom and doom that some things continue to be positive it is all down to each individual. ‘A persons sense of well being usually depends on the way they react to external pressures’ Now that’s the beginning of a chapter in my next book.